The Lonely Sea
by Song Of Eternity
Summary: The Kira case has been dropped because of lack of evidence. Raito and Lawliet long for each other, but something keeps getting in the way, whether it be the ocean, an airplane, or...well, you'll see. Non-explicit, but rated T for violence
1. The Lonely Sea

Hey guys

**Hey guys! My name's Song of Eternity, but I guess you can call me Song! I'm obsessed with anime! I love cute pairings, and of course, I'm not adverse to shounen-ai! This one isn't as much cute as it is sad, but It's lovely as far as I can tell! It's my first ever fanfiction! In fact, its my first ever published bit of writing. Please review!! Even flames are welcome!! Do try to be constructive though!! Let the melancholy begin……**

Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note, Lawliet, Raito, Watari, or the song "The Lonely Sea". Death note and all the characters are owned by a very rich anime company and the genius who made it up. The lonely sea is a song I sang in choir and it was so sad it reminded me of this anime. I also do not own the sea. This belongs to whoever can figure out how to fit it in their pocket…lol.

_??_

_In my soul, I hear a voice_

_Whispering my name once more;_

_Begging me to make the choice,_

_Calling me back to the shore._

Under a blood-red sky, the darkened waves beat at the shore, just as they had since the dawn of time. The gulls swept the sky over head, and crabs scuttled along, building little houses in the sand. Among these natural wonders stood another one of the world's amazing phenomena. He was tall and hunched, and deathly pale. Feathery, ebony-hued hair stuck wildly out from his head, and sad, soulless eyes stared out at the hopeless world before him. These eyes were ringed with the evidence of many sleepless nights and shadowed by the heavy lids above them.

_Come back to the ocean._

_Come back to the sea._

_Can you hear him calling?_

_He's crying out for me…_

_Listen as he beckons you._

_Lonely now he mourns…_

_Come back to the lonely sea._

He had reason for these sorrowful, hopeless eyes. He had experienced many horrifying things in his life, and the pain of his existence had begun on the very day of his birth. Judging from how things had been going, it wouldn't end. Not now, not ever.

_And 'neath the ocean waves above,_

_Within the murky waters deep,_

_A voice is calling out with love,_

_From its mystic briny sleep._

No, he thought suddenly. That was a lie. He had been almost happy once. Almost. But that was all over, as the source of that happiness was now gone, and he would probably never see him again.

Now the memories of his almost-joy continued to call him back here every few weeks. Back to the seaside which was as close to _him_ as he could come and still be in this godforsaken land. He sighed as the sun began to sink below the far-off horizon. It certainly is strange, he thought, that though the sun was setting here, it was rising on the other side of the world. The side_ he _was on. "Raito…" he sighed.

_Come back to the ocean._

_Come back to the sea._

_Can you hear him calling?_

_He's crying out for me!_

_Listen as he beckons you.._

_Lonely now he mourns._

_Come back to the lonely sea._

"Are you ok?"

Turning so that Watari could see his nod, Lawliet tried to put the memories to the back of his mind. When the American government had called him to New York, he had left Raito Yagami and all of the memories the shared behind. The Kira investigation had petered out over time and, no longer having reason to hold Raito, Lawliet had been forced to let him go. The two had seen each other a few other times, over coffee (and cake, lots and lots of cake…), but eventually, Lawliet was called away.

So now here he was, standing on the shore, waves lapping at his ankles, staring out towards Japan. Though he couldn't see the island, he knew it was there, in the sparkling waters of the pacific. So he threw out his arms toward the unseen island in the evening mist, knowing it was as close as he would ever get…

_Listen as he beckons you._

_Lonely now he mourns…_

_Come back to the lonely sea._


	2. Whispers on the Wind

**Hi, everyone! Song here! I was going to leave this as a one-shot, but I got lots of people telling me that I should keep it going…so here it is! Officially my first chaptered fan fiction! Enjoy, read and review!!**

On the other side of the world, Raito sat straight up in bed, an unusual pain pulling at his chest. What was this feeling? It was the oddest thing he had ever felt. His chest felt like it was tearing in two. He gasped. Was he having a heart attack? Had someone finally turned his own methods against him? He thrashed a minute before realizing he wasn't dying. He wasn't even in any real pain. Just a vague discomfort…like something was missing…but what? He shook his head to clear it. It must be his stomach. He was hungry, that's all!

Clumsily standing, Raito stretched and dug some stubborn goo out of the corner of his eye. Turning toward his window, he gazed out toward the ocean. Raito loved the water, and was often sorry that his apartment did not overlook the expansive mass of the ocean. When he became god of the world, his office would be somewhere near water, probably in Japan. Perhaps on Okinawa…yes, Okinawa would do nicely. Staring out over the city, Raito had the sudden urge to go to the beach. He shook his head firmly. He had things to do today. He couldn't just go gallivanting off on vacation whenever he pleased!

But the ocean was calling him, a sirens song in the far-off distance. He sighed and shook his head. He supposed he should be suspicious about all this…but then again, he had always been the open-minded one of the family. This couldn't be any stranger than a shinigami with a notebook, or a teenage genius with sociopathic tendencies, could it? When being called by a creepy ocean siren… he supposed he would have to go see what this was all about.

Plodding down the stairs, Raito grabbed a muffin and a glass of juice from the fridge. Sipping halfheartedly at the fruity liquid, Raito stared at the muffin. The strawberry muffin. It reminded him so forcefully of Ryuzaki that it knocked the breath right out of him. "Ryuzaki…" he whispered. Could that be what had been bothering him for all this time? The cold sweats and nightmares that ended with him sitting straight up in bed, gasping for air? Were they Ryuzaki? How could L be controlling him like this? Did he find a Death Note? He could write Raito's name and make it so he had months of terror before a gruesome death….

No, that was impossible. For one, Ryuzaki couldn't possibly have found a Death Note, or he would be right back here to arrest Raito again. For another…Raito just couldn't imagine L doing something like that. It wasn't in his nature. Ryuzaki was just too…justice-y. Raito grimaced. What _the hell kind of word was justice-y?!_ He sighed. His mental processes had slowed down considerably since Ryuzaki had gone. The many strategic battles with the other boy had kept him sharp, and now that he was gone… He missed the mental exercise. He missed Ryuzaki. Raito's eyes opened wide and shock, orange juice squirted from his nose, flying three feet into the air. Some of it landed on his refrigerator, the rest in his hair.

Raito gasped for air, both from shock and from the stinging juice in his nasal passages. Could it be true… could he really... MISS Ryuzaki? "_HERESY!!"_ cried Raito's mind. It isn't possible. Kira doesn't get attached to anybody… He doesn't need ANYONE!! Shaking his head to clear it, Raito once again felt the irresistible urge to go to the beach. Knowing his overactive unconscious mind, it probably had something to do with Ryuzaki.

That settles it, Raito thought. I'm not going. There is no way you're going to get me anywhere around Ryuzaki again…I don't miss OR need that guy to be happy and powerful…I'm going to rule the world and I can't do it with him around…You wouldn't catch me dead at the beach right now… no way, no how…

??

"Well, I'm here…" mumbled Raito, gazing out over the briny, blue depths. " But why?" he mumbled. "I don't need to see Ryuzaki again…"

_Oh, shut up_, said a voice in his head. _You know you want to see him again. You miss him_.

"Who asked you?" growled Raito. He gasped. "Oh, no! I'm talking to myself."

_Well it's the only intelligent conversation you're going to get right now, unless you enjoy talking to starfish and stranded jelly fish, that is,_ said the voice.

"Shut up…arghh not again!!"

Suddenly, a chill ran down his spine and tremored delicately into his toes. Distracted, he stood looking at the ocean in amazement. With a shock, he realized a hazy shape was forming over the water. It was Ryuzaki…oh no. The older boy was just standing there, his arms spread out wide. They seemed to call to Raito, to beckon him across the sea. Raito stood there in shock, until he quite distinctly heard the figure speak. In a voice that was as elusive as the ocean breeze itself, the figure breathed a word. Just one word.

"Raito…" the figure breathed. The sound was barely there, but Raito was certain he had heard it.

"Ryuzaki?" he murmured, reaching out an arm to the figure in the distance. Just as his fingers grazed the older boy's arm, the mirage disappeared, fading away into nothingness. "Shit!" he gasped. He was daydreaming again. He must be going crazy… He turned and walked away, traipsing along the dunes toward the bus station.

Thousands of miles away, a certain young detective gasped and fell backwards into the sand. There was no way…that couldn't be possible…yet he was certain he had heard it. Though every ounce of logic he had cried that it just couldn't be possible, Lawliet had never been one to fool himself. It may have only been a whisper on the wind, barely audible, but it was there all the same. And that touch… the barely grazing touch on his left forearm…there was simply no way to deny it. Finally accepting that it had truly happened, the feathery-haired boy gazed off towards Japan once more.

"Well…that was odd," Lawliet thought.

He stood up and brushed the sand off his tattered jeans. "But, I suppose," he said, "I should know by now to expect the unexpected where Raito is concerned…"

**That's the end of Chapter Two everybody! Please review! I need plot ideas and should I kill off Ryuzaki or not…um…That's a decision I am not looking forward to… and should Light continue to be Kira after he meets up with Ryuzaki? Plot ideas are insanely welcome… and please, tell your friends to read my story too! I need as much help as I can get!! Thanks!! Song out!!**


	3. A Glimpse of Fate

**Hey, Song here! Here's another chapter of The Lonely Sea! Aren't you excited? YAY!! OK, well, here we go. Thanks to MiaoShou for the best review on the world, and the greatest plot idea I've ever heard of!!" And BTW, her LRaito stories are sooo great, so read them!! Thanks again MiaoShou!! BTW again, I have nothing against Jews or Americans, though I tease both in this Chapter. I have many Jewish friends and I myself am an American, so sorry if I offend you guys. ITS ONLY A STORY!! Call me stupid of you want, I can take it. Please review, as it keeps this writer happy and keeps this story with momentum. Also, still wanting to hear plot ideas and should Ryuuzaki die? So far I've got 2 nos. is that unanimous, then? **

**Disclaimer: I'm 17. by law, I can't own anything. Sue my parents. (they don't own death note either!!)**

Somewhere in the city of New York, Ryuuzaki was curled up in a chair. He was tired.

So very, very tired.

He was so tired, in fact, that his body hadn't the strength to sit in the usual way. Instead of sitting with his knees to his chest, he instead lay in the chair curled in the fetal position. His hands were covering his face, blocking out any interference from the outside world. All he could hear were his own desperate thoughts.

How could he have heard Raito's voice from thousands of miles away? It was impossible, but Ryuuzaki knew better than to deny what he knew was true. He knew he heard the voice, and he knew he had felt the touch on his arm. Raito's touch. The touch that was so gentle and ethereal that it made the hairs all over his body stand on end.

Fighting the tingle that blatantly rushed down his spine, Ryuuzaki turned over and eyed the device sitting on the table. Who knew that a piece of technology could be so threatening? So sleek and smooth, but capable of wreaking such havoc. It was only a laptop, he told himself.

_Yes,_ said his mind, _only a laptop_.

_With email capabilities_.

Ryuuzaki shuddered at the thought of the horrors that emails could wrought. There was no way he would send an email to _him_.

What if Raito didn't want to talk to him?

What if he sent back a horrible reply saying he didn't wish to hear from him again… or worst of all, what if a reply never came?

What if Raito opened it, and being seized by disgust or even amusement, promptly placed it into his recycle bin?? Ryuuzaki moaned forcefully. _But_, he reasoned, _if he didn't send the email… he might never talk to Raito again…_

Ryuuzaki reached out and snatched up his laptop. Opening Microsoft Outlook, he began to draft an email. Dear Raito, it said. Ryuuzaki quickly deleted that. That was entirely too personal for a first email. Dear Yagami-sama. He deleted it once more. No need to be too worshipful either. It was just creepy. Dear Yagami-san. Delete. Dear Raito-kun. Delete. Dear Raito-san. Hmm, not bad… Dear Raito san, I missed you…… AARGGH!!

??

Yagami Raito stood and let the icy water drip down his back. The unexpected downpour of cold water had been shocking, needless to say, but he was rapidly growing used to the water's frigidity. He looked up, the icy waters descending rapidly from above. It made little drizzles down his nose and left droplets in his eyelashes. It wasn't long before Raito began to shiver uncontrollably. Finally giving up, he climbed out of the shower and turned off the water spigot. "Stupid water heater, always fucking broken…"

He clomped down the stairs, looking oddly like an Old Navy model in his newly faded jeans and tight grey t-shirt. He shivered for a moment, his breath still leaving icy tendrils in the air. Dodging the misty vines, Raito sat down at his computer and opened his email.

Raito sighed. There was so much junk mail these days.** Save the whales**… _yeah, ok_. Delete.

**Dear Yagami-san, my name is Nagomi Jakobu and I just inherited a billion dollars; would you like to share it with me**…_Yeah, because I'm stupid_, Raito thought sarcastically. Delete.

**Meet Jewish singles now!** Raito shuddered. Delete.

**Dear Raito-san- I have missed your company as of late**. Del-

_Wait….Ryuuzaki_?! Eyes opened widely, Raito clicked on the short sentence, and the email's contents appeared on the screen. Leaning forward hungrily, Raito began to read.

_Dear Raito-san,_

_How have you been lately? I have missed your intellectual companionship as of late, and have been wishing for more stimulating conversation. The case in New York is not as challenging as I first had thought, and I have it solved already. Now, I must only find enough evidence to prove it to a jury. I have wondered often if the Americans truly are truly mentally inferior, but if this case is anything to judge by, I must admit that their logic is extremely lacking. With luck, I will be home soon and be able to see you and Yagami-san again. I hope to see you soon. _

_Ryuuzaki._

Raito read the email again, his eyes open wide and his breathing accelerating.

_Missed my intellectual companionship?_

_Stimulating?_

_Hope to see me soon? _

_Did Ryuuzaki miss him? _

_Ryuuzaki wanted to see him?_

??

Raito woke suddenly. Something was repeatedly thumping him in the back. He blinked groggily and looked around. He was in a relatively small space, and the large hairy man in the seat beside him had his head on Raito's shoulder, and was snoring loudly.

Raito recoiled in horror. What was going on? Where the fuck was he? Then a tinny voice spoke to him.

"If you look out the window to the left side of the plane, you can see the state of Hawaii…" said the voice.

_The state of Hawaii?_ Raito thought, _Why would anyone want to know the state of Hawaii? Hawaii's been in the same state for decades…wait a minute…over Hawaii? He was on a fucking plane? _

_Oh now I remember_, he thought, recalling the small overnight bag he had hurriedly packed before rushing out of his apartment. Stupid email… what had he been thinking? He gets one platonic email from Ryuuzaki and he runs off to New York. Was he really that desperate to see Ryuuzaki again? He smacked his head harshly onto the pane of glass in the window and gazed out. And screamed.

Ryuuzaki slouched in his seat, more morose than he had been in days. Watari sat in the seat beside him, trying to cheer the desolate Ryuuzaki, but it was no use. Ryuuzaki hadn't had an intelligent conversation in months, and he hadn't been able to get Raito out of his mind for that entire time. Now he was on his way back to see him, and it seemed that time had slowed down to a crawl. He fidgeted in his seat a little, his knees brushing his chin and his toes gripping the grayish seat fabric. Come on, why couldn't the plane just land already? Ryuuzaki glanced nonchalantly out the window. And froze.

As the two planes passed each other in midair, Ryuuzaki and Raito very clearly saw each other through the portholes. Raito gaped and Ryuuzaki stared in shock, with his mouth opened only slightly. The planes passed each quickly, of course. They were only in view of each other for a millisecond, but both boys clearly saw the other's face in that short time.

Ryuuzaki blinked.

And then he blinked again.

And again.

"Wat…Watari." He stammered.

"Yes," Watari answered.

" May I use your phone for a moment?"

"Of course, Lawliet, but may I ask why? Holding the phone firmly between forefinger and thumb, Lawliet flipped it open and prepared to do what he hadn't dared to do for months.

"Because," Ryuuzaki said bluntly, "Either I've truly gone nutty, or this plane is disobeying some very serious flight laws."

Raito was still recovering from the shock when his cell phone rang. He flipped in open. "Hel..Hello?"

"Raito?"

"Ryuuzaki!!"

"Was that you?"

"Yes!!"

"What are you doing here?"

"What am I doing here, what are You doing here? You said you were still in New York!!"

"The suspect confessed!"

"Confessed? And you just hop on a plane and come back to Tokyo?"

"Yes. I told Raito-kun that I missed his intelligent conversation."

"You…missed me?"

"Yes. It was quite boring in New York."

"Oh."

"Quite."

"Well, where are you staying in Tokyo? I thought that you sold headquarters after you closed the Kira case?"

"Yes, but I bought an apartment in the building next door to that building."

"Oh. Well meet me there in….um…well, four tomorrow."

"Right."

Ryuuzaki closed the phone. He sighed, his breath gently moving his light, feathery hair. He turned to the window and stared down to the ocean. The waves gently lolling along, heading for the nearest shore. The sun sparkling off of the crests, the birds gracefully skimming along the water. It was a beautiful scene. Ryuuzaki suddenly hated it. This body of water seemed to always stand between him and Raito. Always had to get in the way. Damn ocean. Ryuuzaki shook his head to clear the nonsensical thought from his head.

"Watari?"

"Yes?"

"Wake me when we land."


	4. Strawberry Flavored Reunion

At three thirty the next day, Yagami Raito stood at the Tokyo international airport, his small carry-on bag clutched tightly i

**Song here! Chapter four is up, but my reviews are down? Why? I only got 2 reviews on the last chapter…weeps. Listen guys… I need feedback. So plz review! Many of you have me on alert and stuff, but unless you review, how can I know what you want me to do? PLZPLZPLZ. I love you guys, and I really want to write what you want to read. So please no lurkers!! Review guys! I love it!**

At three o'clock the next afternoon, Yagami Raito stood at the Tokyo International Airport, his small carry-on bag clutched tightly in his white-knuckled fist. If any of the passers-by had known Raito, they most certainly wouldn't recognize him now. His face was paler than his wrinkled, white dress shirt, and there were circles under his eyes to rival those of Ryuuzaki's. Sweat dripped abundantly from under tangled auburn hair. Raito knew he looked horrible. He disgusted himself! But there was nothing he could do. Stopping in the airport restroom, Raito attempted to freshen up. He changed his dress shirt into an identical, but clean one. He refreshed his deodorant and his cologne. Finally, he rinsed his sweaty hair in the sink and sat under the hand-dryer, doing his best to look nonchalant. He silently cursed himself every time someone would enter the restroom, looking oddly at the boy under the hand-dryer. After a half-hour had passed, Raito stood. Stretching, he glanced at his wristwatch. Three fifty-two. Shit! Grabbing a paper towel, he wiped the sweat from his tortured brow and disappeared through the bathroom door.

Hell hath no fury like Raito on a mission. Dodging airline carts, old people, small children, and a fat man with a little dog, Raito dashed towards the airport doors. Yanking one open, he flew outside and was promptly drenched Raito skidded to a stop on the wet pavement and looked towards the sky. Floods of rain poured down, gracing Raito's newly dried hair with its icy wetness. Trying not to acknowledge the irony of the situation, Raito began to race towards Ryuuzaki's new apartment.

At that exact moment, said boy was pacing in his new, expansive living room. An expensive crystal chandelier dangled from the high, sloped ceiling, and the authentic leather furniture sat close to the ground, waiting for some unsuspecting fool to sink into its comfortable splendor. But Ryuuzaki did not sink into the chairs. He paced back and forth across the elegant wood floor. Raito was three minutes late. What had happened?

_Car wreck…_

_Hit-and-run…_

_Mugging…_

_Drive-by…_

_Attacked by homicidal pink Chihuahuas? Of course! That was the only logical explanation!_

_Or maybe he had decided not to come. Maybe he decided that he didn't want to see Ryuuzaki after all? Maybe Raito was completely disgusted by Ryuu..._

DING-DONG!

Ryuuzaki's head snapped up. _He was here! Ohnohnohnohnohnohno!! What'll I do!!_

"Answer the door, you moron!!" Raito called.

_Right._ Ryuuzaki scolded himself. You _told Watari not to do it, and now you are proving to be too incompetent to do it yourself!!_

"Ryuuzaki!!"

"COMING!"

The door swung timidly open, and a small, dark-eyed face peered around the corner of it. "Raito-kun?"

"For the love of Kira, Ryuuzaki, open the door!! I'm getting all wet out here!"

Ryuuzaki opened the door fully and Raito hurriedly entered.

He certainly was wet, Ryuuzaki thought, eying Raito appreciatively. _His hair is soaked and it's sticking to his nose and he's dripping on my rug and look, his shirt is sticking to his chest...oh…um…_

Ryuuzaki ripped his eyes away from Raito's chest. "Raito! You're soaked!"

"Uh, yeah Ryuuzaki! It's raining outside!"

Ryuuzaki walked into the bathroom and pulled out some towels. "Here," he said, thrusting them at Raito, "You'll get pneumonia if you don't dry off…"

"Right…" Raito mumbled, taking the towels and wrapping himself in one. Sinking down on the couch, Raito sighed.

"Wow, this couch is really comfortable."

"Don't encourage it."

"What?"

"Nothing."

Raito looked down at the carpet. "Well, how have you been?"

"Bored. I have not had any intellectual stimulation in a large amount of time."

Raito looked up skeptically. "The case couldn't have been that bad…"

"Really? They used a backhoe to dig up the body, completely destroying all of the evidence, and the killer used a one-of-a-kind collector's pistol with silver bullets. How hard is it to find the people who own the exact gun, and have bought silver bullets? And a backhoe?"

Raito gaped at Ryuuzaki. "Okay, they were pretty dumb."

"Yeah."

Suddenly, Raito shivered. "Wow, then why did they need you to come and solve the ca…" Raito burst into a fit of coughing.

"Raito?" Ryuuzaki said timidly, pounding on the other boy's back."

"Cough, cough, yeah, I'm alright."

Ryuuzaki pressed his lips together into a tight, pinched line. "No you're not. Come on."

"What?"

"We've got to get you out of those wet clothes."

"WHAT!"

"Do you want to catch pneumonia?"

"No, but…"

"Oh, come on! I'm not a rapist you know. We were chained together for months!"

Sighing, Raito followed Ryuuzaki into another room. Ryuuzaki waved a hand towards the tub. "The shower's over there. Make sure it's hot. Leave your clothes in the hamper; I'll fetch some of mine." He eyed Raito doubtfully. "They should fit, though they may be a bit baggier than you're used to…"

"Ok, ok, just leave already!!"

Ryuuzaki sadly turned and walked out of the bathroom. He turned into his bedroom and began rummaging through his drawers. After a moment of digging, he finally found a pair of pants with only one hole, and no cake stains. They would have to do. Re-entering the bathroom, Ryuuzaki placed his pants on the sink and removed Raito's clothing from the hamper.

"RYUUZAKI?" Raito yelled.

"I'm right here, Raito-kun. No need to shout."

"Ack! Ryuuzaki, what are you doing in here?"

"This is my bathroom, you know, Raito-kun. I was bringing in some clothes for you to use. I'm not going ogle you, you know…"

Silence.

"What did you want, Raito?"

"Oh, right. Do you have any soap?"

"Of course! Here…" Ryuuzaki dove under the sink, and after squirming a bit, brought up a full bottle of body wash.

"I bought it because it was strawberry, but I only used it once. I can't stand the smell. It makes me want to eat myself."

Raito looked at the little bottle in terror. "Are you sure that's the only soap you have?"

"Absolutely."

Raito sighed and held his hand out for the soap.

Fifteen minutes later, Raito reappeared in the living room, drying his hair on a fluffy, white towel. Ryuuzaki's eyes widened to their limits. Raito's hair was dangling wetly in his face, and his skin was glistening. The muscles of his chest were toned, yet graceful. The smell of strawberries lingered in the air, making Ryuuzaki's mouth water, and his stomach do flip-flops. In Ryuuzaki's opinion, his old, worn jeans did nothing to diminish Raito's appearance. In fact, they looked very good. The straight legs accentuated the strength of Raito's calves, and the baggy waist sat at a cocked angle, and rode very low on Raito's waist…painfully low. Ryuuzaki swallowed.

"Ryuuzaki?"

Ryuuzaki looked guiltily up and met Raito's amber eyes.

"Yes, Raito-kun?"

"Judging from your expression, I believe a belt is in order?"

"Sorry, Raito-kun, I don't own a belt…"

"What? How do you keep these pants up? There is no way you're bigger than me!"

"Magic."

After a momentary standoff, Raito turned away. "Whatever," he said. "Look all you want."

Ryuuzaki gleefully obliged.

**Thanks for reading you guys! Now I not only need reviews, but plot ideas. I have no idea where to go from here! Should I lemon next chapter, or keep it strictly shounen-ai? And what should I do with the overall plot line? HELP ME OUT GUYS!! Your whim in my command. Review!**


	5. Painful Kisses

Hey guys, song here

Hey guys, song here. Ok, so I got a few more reviewers out here, but seriously. This fanfic has had over a thousand hits and only 30 reviews. :Glares out at audience.: Consider yourself scolded. And for those of you who did review, I love you more than… than… Ryuuzaki loves cake. Gasp! Hmm…maybe not that much…Anyway, don't kill me for this chapter. Its eight in the morning and I still haven't slept… nods weakly. You guys know I love you right?

Ryuuzaki stood in the kitchen, peering into his refrigerator. "Why is there no decent food in this house?" Raito peered over his shoulder. Inside the fridge lay a bucket of cold chicken and some freshly thawing steaks, ready for the grill.

"Uh…Ryuuzaki?"

"Yes, Raito-kun?"

Raito sighed. "Nothing."

Ryuuzaki turned about and peered into the breadbox. "Good, it seems I have a few cookies left. Thank God."

"God forbid you run out of cookies, Ryuuzaki." Raito said sarcastically.

"Quite right."

Raito frowned.

"Why was it you wished to see me, Raito-kun?"

Raito gaped…how did he…oh.

"Oh, well I was just wondering why we passed each other in mid-air, that's all."

Ryuuzaki stood calmly, placing a few cookies onto a plate. He turned and went into the living room. Turning on the television, Ryuuzaki took a long breath and sat down on his deceivingly fluffy couch. "Well Raito-kun, I was under the impression that you took up a fancy to come visit me in New York."

"Yes, yes I know that, but why did you come home?

"Home, Raito?"

Raito blushed. "Well, it's home to me, anyway."

"Perhaps Raito, but I have lived many places, none of which are really home, so I really cannot use that term." He stood and took his cookie plate into the kitchen.

Raito stared after him. No home? Well, he himself had never been really attached to his house, but he had his own room for his entire life, except when his sister's room had a plumbing leak, and she had stayed with him for a week. He had pretty much lived in that room until he moved out. And his parent's house had always been somewhere he felt safe. How could Ryuuzaki live without a home? Where had he slept when he had nightmares as a child? Where had he celebrated his birthdays? There was so much that he didn't know about Ryuuzaki. Not even his name. But, he supposed, no one really knew a lot about the elusive detective. He was so deep in thought that he didn't even notice the news come on.

"…six victims found in…" Raito's head swerved to take in the next sentence off the five o clock news. He looked frantically for the remote, and having found it exactly where it was supposed to be (the coffee table), turned up the television.

"The six victims were found last month in a field outside of Tokyo. The suspect, Morido Takeda, was charged with kidnapping, torturing, then brutally raping and killing the girls. However, he was released from prison today after an inconclusive trial. Here is a word from the victim's families…" Raito growled and viciously kicked the coffee table. His hands itched…if only he still had his Death Note… it was still buried in the woods…he doubted he could even find it now.

Ryuuzaki stood in the doorway behind the younger boy, watching the incident without expression. Raito kicked his coffee table quite viciously. It would probably need repairs… and his hands were twitching, as it trying to hold a pen. Ryuuzaki frowned. Twelve percent. "Raito-kun, I would appreciate it if you would desist from kicking my furniture."

"Ryuuzaki!" Raito spun around. "How long have you been standing there?"

"Long enough to see your little outburst, Raito-kun. Quite troubled by everyday news, aren't you?"

"Ryuuzaki, anyone would be distressed by that garbage. He killed six people, after torturing and raping them!" his voice broke. "And he got off scott-free!"

"Perhaps he didn't do it, Raito-kun." Ryuuzaki calmly stated.

"Or perhaps our judicial system is a joke!"

"Feeling like making a little judgment yourself are you, Raito-kun?" Ryuuzaki took a threatening step towards Raito.

Raito turned on Ryuuzaki, "Don't accuse me of being Kira, Ryuuzaki. Not now."

Ryuuzaki took another step. Now they were only a foot apart, both glaring at the other.

"Why, Raito?"

Raito didn't answer. His heart beat fast in his chest. He was still a little stirred from the news report, and Ryuuzaki's accusation wasn't helping. Neither was Ryuuzaki's closeness, or the little hair that fell across his forehead, or his hand on Raito's shoulder, or that smoldering glare that he directed Raito's way. Not that it was supposed to be smoldering, but still… he was going to hyperventilate if something didn't break soon!

"What's wrong, Raito-kun, now that you have been cleared, why do you feel threatened by my suspicion? Why do you need for me to believe you? Why do you still…"

Ryuuzaki's sentence was cut off as Raito's mouth clamped down firmly over his. Onyx eyes opening wide, Ryuuzaki stiffened. What was…was this… Ryuuzaki closed his eyes and leaned into the kiss. As the room spun, he tried to think. Why was this happening? Ryuuzaki calculated the possibilities in his head. There was a two percent chance that Raito actually liked him, and a four percent chance that he was intoxicated from something in those cookies. He mentally vowed to throw them out. But that left ninety- four percent unaccounted for, and he was beginning to lose himself to the kiss. Just as Raito slipped his tongue between Ryuuzaki's lips, it came to him.

The news.

Kira.

If Raito was really Kira, of which Ryuuzaki had no doubt, then this would be a great way of stalling him.

Breaking his defenses.

Leaving him vulnerable.

Ryuuzaki certainly felt vulnerable right now.

He took a deep breath to clear his head. Raito pulled back.

"Ryuuzaki?"

Ryuuzaki looked up, and Raito backed away.

Ryuuzaki was glaring at him. With hatred.

With betrayal.

Raito slowly backed away even more, into the front doorway.

"Ryuuzaki, I'm sorry, I couldn't…"

Ryuuzaki took a deep breath, and wrenched the front door open. And spoke.

"I hope you enjoyed that, Raito…" he said in a low, dead voice.

"Ryuuzaki…" Raito whispered, backing through the doorway.

"Because its all you're ever going to get from me." Ryuuzaki slammed the door.

And sank down against it, wetness beginning to form on his cheeks.

Sob. You have no idea how much I hated writing that. But it had to be done. The plot badgers were beginning to nibble at my innards. I must find an actual plot soon, or this will be sucked into the scary world of PWP…no! I will not let my baby be dragged into that abyss! Or is it drug? Hmm…moldy drug cookies… anyway, all will be well soon. Review, or the plot badgers will come to nibble you!!


	6. The Doorway

"Ryuuzaki

"Ryuuzaki!"

"Ryuuzaki, Please!"

"I'm…I'm sorry Ryuuzaki!"

Raito sat against the door outside Ryuuzaki's new house, pounding at the door that separated him from the other boy.

"Ryuuzaki, I didn't mean to hurt you…I'm sorry if I scared you or made you feel uncomfortable in any way!" Raito sobbed, pounding halfheartedly against the door.

"Raito-kun." A raw, pained voice said from the other side of the door.

"Yes, Ryuuzaki!"

"Go away now, please."

"Ryuuzaki!"

He heard a choked back sob from the other side of the door.

Ryuuzaki leaned against the door, his chest in agony and tears streaming down his face. Why did it have to be this way? He had dreamed of a kiss with Raito for a year now, only to have it tainted by…by this…by Kira! He banged his head against the door. Why? He had thought the ghostly apparition by the ocean was a sign… that he was meant to be with Raito. He had thought he was finally going to be happy. But apparently it wasn't to be…

"Ryuuzaki, I'm sorry…" Raito murmured for what seemed to be the millionth time.

"I'm sorry…"

"Why?"

Raito jumped. He hadn't expected an answer.

"What?" Raito said timidly.

"Why, Raito, why are you sorry? Are you sorry you kissed me, or sorry that you used me, or sorry that you are still trying to kill me after all we had shared?"

Raito stared blankly at the door.

"What the hell are you talking about?!"

The door flew open, and there stood Ryuuzaki. His eyes were red, and his hair was even messier than usual. He was breathing roughly.

"I'm talking about you trying to put me off my guard so you can kill me!"

Raito slowly stood.

"K…Kill you?"

Ryuuzaki nodded.

"For god's sake Ryuuzaki, is that was all this is about?"

Ryuuzaki nodded again, doubt inching onto his face.

"Ryuu…Ryuuzaki, I don't even know your name! I couldn't kill you even if I was Kira! And what's this about putting you off your guard? If I was Kira, you'd be dead whether you were on your guard or not! And for the last damn time, I'M NOT KIRA!"

He lowered his eyes. "Even if I was, I wouldn't kill you…"

Ryuuzaki was taken aback. Way aback. He stepped forward and tipped Raito's chin up, so he could look him in the eyes.

"Then, why did you kiss me?"

Raito's eyes widened and he jerked his head away. Tears came again, unbidden, to his amber eyes. He stepped away.

"You know what, Ryuuzaki, you figure it out." He choked out, and ran away.

Ryuuzaki stared after him, an odd look on his face.

Damn cookies.


	7. Running

Raito ran, his heart pounding against his rib cage

Raito ran, his heart pounding against his rib cage. His breath came in gasps, and the tears just wouldn't stop. He knew he couldn't run much farther. He had already run more than three miles, and he had finally entered what could only be described as a bad neighborhood. It felt like he would never catch his breath, but he just couldn't stop. He had to get as far away from him as possible.

How could Ryuuzaki do that to him?

How could he do that to Ryuuzaki?

Finally, the sheer force of what he had done made Raito slow and stop. His heart continued to race, and the sweat poured down his forehead and into his eyes.

But Raito didn't notice.

He had kissed Ryuuzaki.

He had kissed L.

He had pressed his lips against the lips of the only person who had ever truly wanted him dead.

Why did that turn him on?

Raito staggered into a side alley and sagged against a wall, the bricks scraping his arms. Sinking down to sit on the dirty alleyway pavement, he placed his head in his hands and delved into a previously untapped pool of self-pity.

"You know, self-pity is the number one cause of death in people under the age of twenty." A voice said.

Raito's heart leapt. Ryuuzaki! He looked up quickly.

It wasn't Ryuuzaki.

That was his last thought before the bat crashed into his head, his world turning to darkness.

Sorry this chapter is so short, but it was the best place to leave it for now. Don't worry; I plan on having the next part up by the end of the day. Tomorrow, maybe.


	8. Anyone but Him

As Raito opened his eyes, he was shocked to see a large fuzzy shape in front of him

As Raito opened his eyes, he was shocked to see…Nothing. Blinking furiously, he tried desperately to pull the world into focus, but to no avail. Suddenly, his head pounded, and his eyes began to water from the pain. Raito covered his eyes and moaned.

"Oh, goody. Kira-san is awake." It was a man. He was tall, and from the sound of it, strong.

Raito's head snapped up. "What did you say?"

"Oh, yes. I know you, Kira. I know you were under suspicion, but got off without a scratch!"

"You're crazy!"

"Am I, Kira?" The man said, taking a slow step towards Raito. "I think you are the one who's crazy. Killing people for justice? Ha! You really think that will work? All you are doing is making people afraid for their lives, while you sit around, knowing you're safe! Well, good old X is here now, and he'll make sure you never feel safe again."

??

Screams.

Cries

Moans.

Darkness.

Raito never knew he could withstand so much pain. Whips, belts, needles, pins, physical blows and mental anguish; all slid off him like water now. He had been in agony the first time X had stuck a needle into him, but now he barely felt it. He had felt his heart tighten painfully the first time the man had told him he was worthless and that no one would ever love him, but now, three days later, he had accepted its truth and moved on. He wouldn't live past this, and even if he did, he would be alone. Who cared?

Emptiness.

He knew that he was losing the battle. That he was giving up on life. He knew the signs by heart, and could recognize them when he saw them, even in himself. But he also knew he was going to die. The blindfold had long ago been removed, and Raito knew he would never have a chance to pick X out of a lineup. He also knew he would never see Ryuuzaki again. So he had begun to shut down a little at a time, rather than have to experience the pain of it all at once. When he died, only his body would go. His soul would be long gone.

Fear.

No matter how numb he made himself, Raito couldn't stop the fear. He lived in constant terror that X would find some new and horrible way to punish him.

As though he had heard, X entered. "Kira-san, I have a surprise for you…" he said in a sing-song voice.

Raito restrained a groan. What now?

"I looked you up on the internet. Not Kira-san. The real you. Yagami Raito."

Raito froze and looked up.

"How did you…my wallet." Raito guessed resignedly.

"Right!" X squealed. "And guess what I found?"

Raito remained silent.

"I said guess…" X pouted. "Oh, well, I'll tell you anyway. I found this!" He held up a shiny piece of paper.

Raito gasped. It was an old photograph of him and Ryuuzaki, standing beside each other, chained at the wrists. Ryuuzaki was looking at the camera with an expression of distaste, but Raito's head was slightly tilted toward the older detective, and he had an odd look on his face…

X snatched the picture away.

"Where did you get that!?" Raito demanded.

"It's amazing what you can find on the Internet." X teased. "And from the looks of it, I'd say you were very close to this…" he peered at the paper. "Ryuuzaki fellow." He leered at Raito. "Very close indeed, judging from your expression."

"I barely know him. Leave him out of this!" Raito exclaimed.

"Oh, Raito-kun, I think you are lying to me…in fact, I know you are. I saw you leaving his house the other day. You were most upset. You cried and pounded his door, and when he finally came out, you yelled at him. Not a very nice way to treat a lover, is it? No wonder he doesn't like you."

Raito winced. "He isn't my lover. I told you, I barely know him. We had a disagreement about a case, that's all."

"Lying again, Raito-kun?"

"Don't."

"What?"

"Don't call me Raito-kun. Don't act like my friend, you monster!"

"Me, a monster?!" X cackled maniacally. "Me? You killed thousands of people, and I'm the monster? That's rich…" X chuckled again, and then leaned down close to Raito, his breath hot on the young man's cheek. "I bet you let Ryuuzaki call you Raito-kun. Or does he use an honorific at all, when you're 'together'?"

Raito reared back and struggled wildly for a moment. X giggled.

"It's been a while since you've responded this well. I was afraid you'd withdrawn to where I couldn't get at you. But now, I suppose I have found a new game for us to play…"

"Please, leave him out of this. Please, I'm begging you. Anything…Anyone but him."

X leaned down toward Raito once more; he lifted his hand and stroked Raito's cheek almost lovingly. "I suppose we're going to have to find this Ryuuzaki, aren't we, Raito-kun?"

Raito said nothing; he just let the tears flow down his face.


	9. Missing

Hey guys

Hey guys! Thanks for all the great reviews. I'm sorry I can't answer all your reviews, but I have dialup, so I'll answer next time I go to the library. Yay, High-speed!! Read and Review!!

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

Ryuuzaki sat on his couch, staring at the phone. Why hadn't Raito called him? He had swallowed his pride the day before and called Raito, but there still was no answer from the younger boy. Ryuuzaki sighed. "I really must have blown it this time," he thought. Lowering his head into his hands, he mused over the week's events. How could he have been so stupid? He had dreamed of Raito for a full year now, and then he had his chance, and… he blew it! His chest physically hurt, like he was being poked with long pins, or stabbed, or maybe had his heart broken. He lifted his head. Why did he feel like this? One fight should not have him feeling this down, it wasn't that bad! But as he sat there, concentrating on the feeling, he knew it wasn't natural. It hurt, but it wasn't from anything in him… something was seriously wrong. Very wrong indeed. A feeling of dread began to worm its way into Ryuuzaki's heart.

At that moment, the phone rang.

Ryuuzaki's eyes widened as he snatched the phone up on the second ring. "What's wrong!" he demanded.

There was a pause on the other line.

"Um, hello Ryuuzaki… is everything ok?"

"Hello, Yagami-san. I suppose you have a reason for calling me at this ungodly hour?"

"Um… It's only nine, Ryuuzaki. I thought you stay up later than this." Raito's father hesitantly replied.

"I do. I'm sorry, Yagami-san. I was unaware of the time."

"Oh, well. I just wanted to know if you knew where Raito was."

Ryuuzaki's heart stopped.

"Raito? He isn't at home? Or with you?" Ryuuzaki asked stupidly.

"No, Ryuuzaki-san. He hasn't been at home for a week, and Sayu said he hasn't been home for the last three days when she stopped by. We heard you were back in town and thought maybe he was with you."

"No, Yagami-san. I'm afraid I haven't seen him for three days." _Very afraid indeed,_ Ryuuzaki thought.

"Oh, no."

"Don't worry, Yagami-san. I will locate him for you." _And for me._

"Thank-you, Ryuuzaki. We are very worried."

"Don't be."

Ryuuzaki hung up the phone. He stared at it. He took a few, calming breaths.

Then he panicked.

Internally, of course.

After he stopped hyperventilating, he sat down and thought rationally.

Raito had presumably not been seen for three days.

He probably didn't make it home after their argument.

Therefore he was either taking refuge at someone's house, or something unexpected had occurred.

Somehow, Raito didn't strike him as the type to run to a friend's house after a fight.

Ryuuzaki picked up the phone and dialed a well-known number.

Hello, this is Yagami Raito. I am unavailable right now; please leave a message after the tone. Beep.

Ryuuzaki sighed and spoke. "Hello, Raito-kun. Please call me, I am beginning to worry about your lack of response." He said in a quiet, pained voice.

He gently hung up the phone, and sat there, thinking.

After a short while, he picked up the phone again. Another well-known number was entered into the phone.

"Yes, Lawliet?"

"Watari, I need your help." Ryuuzaki whispered, his head still lowered, his eyes shadowed.

"Of course, Lawliet. Is everything alright?"

"No, Watari. Raito is missing."

"…oh."

"I need you to help me, Watari."

"Yes. What do you want me to do?"

"Send out all my contacts; everyone who owes me one, and anyone else who you can get. Pay them if you must, I don't care. I want someone monitoring every block within five miles of my home. Check every warehouse, hospital, and police station."

"Very well, Lawliet. What will you do?"

"I'll look for him myself."

"Should I send an escort?"

"No, Watari, I can take care of myself. Send them to look for Raito."

"Very well."

"And Watari?"

"Yes?"

"Please find him."

"We will."

"I hope so."

Ryuuzaki hung up the phone and stood, almost falling as another wave of pain washed over him. This did not bode well.

We'll find him, he told himself.

We have to.


	10. Shattered Soul

Hey guys

**Hey guys! Song here… I just wasn't sure if I made something clear… I was looking back into my story and realized that I deleted the part that said that X always wears a mask. Yeah… that's why X lets Raito see him. He's wearing a mask. Sorry, I must have deleted it on the rewrite… and I didn't want to repost the chapter, hence this note. Sorry so much, I'm a bad author and I give you permission to virtually punish me…:sob: anyway, here's chapter 10. Enjoy, Read and Review.**

Ryuuzaki paced rapidly down the street. He glanced into alleyways, thoroughly examining them with merely one glance. He peered into darkened streets, where an attacker would have an element of surprise. It was highly unlikely that anyone would be able to attack Raito full-on, unless they were physically as strong as Ryuuzaki, and Ryuuzaki was a master of two martial arts. He passed his penetrating stare over the crowds, wondering vaguely if Raito's attacker was among them. He snatched up his cell.

"Watari?"

"Nothing, yet."

"Oh."

Ryuuzaki hung up.

"Raito…"

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

Raito hung limply in his chains. It had been a week. There was no one coming. Ryuuzaki would have found him by now, if he were trying. His father would never even look this far in town, and no one else was even smart enough to think of abduction at this early time. It was apparent that X was beginning to tire of his prey. Each day he would saunter in, taunt Raito with Ryuuzaki for a while, whip and otherwise abuse Raito, threaten to do the same to Ryuuzaki, and walk out.

Each day, Raito sank deeper into despair. It seemed he had finally gone under. Raito no longer ate, no longer drank, and he hovered between unconsciousness and wakefulness. His eyes were half-open, and they did not often blink. He did not sleep, or even move. When X had whipped him today, he hadn't even flinched. Raito had given up.

X looked on as Raito gazed off into the distance. This wouldn't do at all. Kira-san wasn't responding correctly. Pain did nothing, and even taunts about Ryuuzaki made little impression on the boy. Raito must have decided no one was coming for him.

X knew better.

L was coming. And fast.

X was counting on it.

L had to be punished as well.

But first…

X stepped to Raito's side and leaned down.

"Kira-san?"

Raito didn't budge.

"Yagami-san?"

Nothing.

"Raito-kun!"

There. A flinch.

"What?" Raito snapped, his voice raspy and muffled.

"I'm back early today from my surveillance of your Ryuuzaki friend, aren't I?"

A glare. A nod.

"Do you want to know why?"

Nothing.

"Well, It's because there is no longer anything to survey."

A twitch.

"Yes, Ryuuzaki is no longer with us, Raito."

Raito's eyes widened in realization.

"No…" he croaked.

"Yes," X crooned, "Ryuuzaki is dead."

Raito collapsed.

And X watched happily as the last piece of Raito's soul shattered into pieces.

**Don't Kill Me!!**


	11. A Daring Rescue

Raito couldn't feel anything

Raito couldn't feel anything.

Nothing.

He no longer had a nervous system.

Was he dead?

Did it matter?

No.

He wasn't going anywhere.

He didn't know how he knew this, but he knew he wouldn't go to Heaven or Hell. Heaven didn't exist… Ryuuzaki was dead.

Hell didn't matter… it would just be more of the same.

They might as well have left him on earth.

Raito had no energy.

He couldn't bring himself to lift his head.

He had absolutely no motivation to listen to his surroundings.

He hadn't even the energy to breathe.

It was too much work to live.

It was too much effort to die.

So… Raito just…was.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Ryuuzaki entered another alley, peering through the darkness. He was far from home, and he had no idea where he was anymore. But it didn't matter.

He had no idea where Raito was anymore, either.

He anxiously stared at the ground ahead, hoping to see Raito's still-breathing form.

Nothing.

Ryuuzaki sighed. Where to look? He had been scouting dark alleyways for an hour.

He ran through the options in his head:

Raito hiding at his parents' house- .002

Raito hiding at his apartment- .003

Raito at the university- .008

Raito moved to somewhere Ryuuzaki would never find him- .17

Raito committed suicide…Ryuuzaki shuddered- .175

Raito ran off and got lost- .2

Raito ran off and is hiding somewhere in town- 43

Raito ran off and was attacked-56.442

Ryuuzaki sighed. Raito was probably attacked. He wouldn't even try to decide whether he was alive or…Ryuuzaki shuddered again. He walked to the next alley and continued looking.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

_Where'd you go? I miss you so… seems like its been forever, since you been gon-_

Ryuuzaki snatched up his phone. "Yes, Watari?" He snapped.

"Ryuuzaki, we have received word that there has been reported suspicious activity in an abandoned warehouse near your location."

Ryuuzaki's heart leapt. "What kind of suspicious activity?"

"Screams. A man's. but that was a week ago. Neighbors report there is no noise now."

"Where?"

"It's on the corner of Osuki and Tawada."

"Very well."

"And Ryuuzaki?"

"Yes?"

"The neighbors also report a dockworker entering that warehouse every day, at varied times. Be careful."

"Of course, Watari. I am always careful."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Ryuuzaki sidled up to the large grey building and leaned against it inconspicuously.

What should he do? Infiltration would be simple; he had trained for harder things. But what of the dockworker? He didn't have any data on him. He could be anyone, with any skill level.

Ryuuzaki checked again for the pistol in his waistband and the knife in his shoe.

Ugh… shoes. He hated them, but Ryuuzaki refused to walk in these questionable neighborhoods without some sort of foot protection.

Ryuuzaki casually walked up to the door of the warehouse, and with his heavily gloved hand, twisted the knob. Ryuuzaki had expected the shock, and felt the tingle even through his rubber electrician's gloves. He was very happy he had them, and hoped that Raito had not tried to escape through this door. In any case, it was locked.

He swiftly picked the lock, and cut the door chain. L slid slowly into the warehouse, not entering further than a foot into the darkness. He slowly closed the door. He did not wish to be snuck up on. He took his flashlight and shone it around the warehouse. It seemed to be used for furniture storage. Couches set low to the ground, and chairs were overturned. Ryuuzaki continued to look around the room. There was a small curtain in the back, dividing off a large portion of the room. Ryuuzaki, taking small steps towards the curtain, looked carefully around him. He hated ambushes, thinking they were cowardly, but he wouldn't be surprised. Reaching out, he grasped the curtain, and walked through. Shining his light around the area, the detective shuddered. There was a single chair sitting on its side in the middle of the room. Ropes dangled ominously from the arms and back of the chair, and there was a pool of a suspicious brown substance everywhere in the room. He gulped. The smell…ugh…

A movement made L swing around and draw his gun. Pointing the weapon into the darkness with one hand and trying to direct the flashlight with the other, Ryuuzaki peered into the mire.

A figure.

A prone figure.

Raito?

Ryuuzaki's heart lurched, and he stepped into the darkness, toward the figure.

"Raito?" he asked.

The figure moaned, as if it were in pain.

Ryuuzaki quickly crouched down. He lay down the flashlight (not the gun, of course) and reached out to the other boy. "Raito…"

A hand shot out of the robe and seized the hand holding the gun.

Ryuuzaki reeled backward, but the figure was strong. Very strong.

It wasn't Raito.

The figure tilted its head back so that l could see its masked face.

"Why, hello Ryuuzaki…"


	12. A Startling Recognition

"Why, hello Ryuuzaki

"Why, hello Ryuuzaki." The masked figure said smoothly.

"Hello." The detective growled courteously.

The masked figure laughed. It was an eerie laugh, a combination of a wheeze and a groan, and it sent a shiver down Ryuuzaki's spine.

"Sorry to drop in on you like this," Ryuuzaki murmured, "but you seem to have something of mine."

X giggled again, "What, it's yours? Oh, I'm so sorry; I thought I bought it at Goodwill…" He reached up and touched his mask.

"Oh, no," replied Ryuuzaki, "this is a one-of-a-kind artifact. I'm afraid he can't be bought at a thrift shop, no matter how tacky he may seem."

"Oh… clever Ryuuzaki, very clever…" X stood up and stretched, still gripping L's gun arm. "Well, I'd love to sit around and do witty banter for a while, but I'm afraid I have things to do…"

"Oh really, what sort?"

"Just murder and mayhem," X shrugged. "The usual…"

"Ah…"

X bent down and pressed his masked face close to Ryuuzaki's ear. "You wanna watch?"

Ryuuzaki lashed out with his other hand, but X had anticipated it. He ducked and yanked on L's arm, sending the ebony-haired detective flying. Deftly regaining his feet, Ryuuzaki flew at X, a blazing left kick just missing his head.

"Oh, good one, old chap, that one nearly hit me." X drawled.

Ryuuzaki stopped short. That voice…

As L pondered, X took the initiative and pounced, grabbing Ryuuzaki's arms and pinning him to the wall of the warehouse.

"Such a shame, Ryuuzaki… After all these years, you still can't beat me in a fair fight…" Ryuuzaki's eyes widened, and then narrowed.

Leaning forward, he placed his head beside X's.

X's breathing hitched.

"So it is you..." Ryuuzaki murmured.

Ignoring X's gasp, L gripped the cloth mask between his teeth.

He yanked, and the cloth ripped, revealing the pale face of his attacker.

L's own face.

"Hello, B."


	13. You Can't Kill Me

"Hello, B

"Hello, B."

B's newly revealed face slowly smiled. His smile, like his laugh, gave L the willies.

It was like death.

No, it was worse.

B's newly revealed face was certainly a sight to behold. He looked just like L. His long black hair, slightly matted from the mask, was scruffy but oddly shiny. His skin shone dimly like moonlight, and his eyes shone red with… rage?

Insanity?

Hmm…

B looked levelly at Ryuuzaki. "Hello L, it's been a while, hasn't it?"

Ryuuzaki raised one eyebrow. "Yes. Yes, it has, Beyond. How are things? Are you married yet? Am I hearing the scampering of tiny evil feet?"

Beyond snarled, and goose bumps flared up on Ryuuzaki's arms.

"You think I would marry anyone else? You think I would just up and…after…" B's voice broke.

Ryuuzaki sighed. "You're not still on about that, are you?" He lowered his eyebrow. "B, come on, man, we've been through this…"

"Shut up, L. I don't want to discuss it right now."

"Fine, later, over tea then. As for the time being, would you kindly direct me to where you are holding Raito-kun?"

B roared and slammed L against the wall again. L blinked furiously to clear the dots from his eyes.

"Still strong, then. Shall I assume that is a no?"

"A resounding one," B choked out. "How can you call him that, how can you show so much affection to that little worm…"

"I'm not sure I understand the question, Beyond."

"Don't play dumb, Lawliet! After all that we shared at Wammy's, how can you just come here and… shack up with this... boy?!"

"Beyond, I am not shacking up with him."

"You called him 'kun'. He's obviously gotten farther with you than I have!"

"Beyond, I have never used any honorific with you, and you know it."

"It's not the same thing!"

"No its not…" Ryuuzaki admitted. "But what are you talking about 'at Wammy's'? We've never done anything together, especially not at Wammy's!"

"Ryuuzaki, don't change the subject…"

"I most certainly am not. However, I don't see how it's your business what I call him… He is my friend, and I shall call him what I like."

"Ryuuzaki, he's a damn child!"

"So were you, as I recall."

B stared dumbly at L.

"We both were, B. When you told me you loved me, we were both battling acne."

"You never had acne."

"No."

"You were always beautiful…"

"Beyond…" L said warningly.

"Why!" B said, throwing L down. L gasped as his head bounced off the pavement. "Why does this always happen? All I ever did was like you, Lawliet, and you run off from Wammy's and fall in love with a kid!"

"B, you're mad."

"I am not bloody mad!"

"Your accent is showing…" L pointed out. "You're barking mad."

B reached down and picked up L's gun. "I'll kill you…"

L sighed and sat up, rubbing his head. He looked up into the barrel of his own pistol.

"I'll kill you Lawliet…" B whispered.

"No you won't…" L whispered. "You can't…"

"Why can't I?" B growled.

L stood up slowly and faced B.

"You can't do it." He calmly informed B.

"WHY!" Beyond cried.

"Because I'd be dead," L said plainly.

A look of anguish crossed B's face, and he pulled the trigger.


	14. Discovery

B reached down and picked up L's gun

B reached down and picked up L's gun. "I'll kill you…"

L sighed and sat up, rubbing his head. He looked up into the barrel of his own pistol.

"I'll kill you Lawliet…" B whispered.

"No you won't…" L whispered. "You can't…"

"Why can't I?" B growled.

L stood up slowly and faced B.

"You can't do it." He calmly informed B.

"WHY!" Beyond cried.

"Because I'd be dead," L said plainly.

A look of anguish crossed B's face, and he pulled the trigger.

The plaster to the right of L's head exploded, and shards of drywall flew past his face.

L never flinched.

Beyond trembled where he stood. Dropping the gun, he sank to the ground.

"Why can't I kill you, damn it?! It should be easy! It's always easy!"

L stood in front of B. "I know it's easy to kill, Beyond, but you'll never be able to kill me."

"But why…"

"For the exact reason I said, B. Because then I'd be dead. I'd be gone forever. And you simply can't stand to be the one to take me away from you."

B's head drooped in anguish. "I hate you."

"I know."

"I love you."

"I know that, too."

"I can't kill you."

"Now you're getting the idea…"

Beyond Birthday's head snapped up. "But I can kill him."

L's eyes widened. "I think this conversation is veering slightly off course…"

"I can kill him easily."

"Again, I think you're getting the wrong idea here…"

Beyond stood up and walked toward the door.

And fell.

L stood behind him, the knife from his shoe held firmly in his grasp.

"I'm sorry, old friend."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

L left the prone form of Beyond Birthday on the ground, and searched for Raito.

He wasn't in the curtained room, or in the main warehouse.

Staring around him, L sighed. If he was birthday, where would he hide a victim who just happened to be the crush of his only love…Aha!

L walked over to one of the many low, plush loveseats, placed his shoulder on it, and shoved.

The loveseat slid a few feet, and through the gloom, L could see a hole, descending down into an abyss of darkness.

"Too easy." He murmured.

And began the climb down.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

L stepped off the ladder and shone his flashlight around the room. Another prone form, this one curled in a ball in the corner. "Raito?" Lawliet asked doubtfully.

He moved closer. This one didn't moan.

"Raito?"

He poked it with the barrel of his gun. It didn't stir.

L, terrified at what he may find, reached out and flipped the form over.

It was Raito.

Or at least, Lawliet thought it was Raito.

Raito's short, auburn hair was matted and tangled. It was dirty, as was the rest of him. He had no shirt left, and most of his pants were missing as well. Ryuuzaki gulped. There were long, jagged scars running down both his legs, and across his arms. His back looked like it had been lashed recently. A great deal. Ryuuzaki looked back at Raito's face and gagged. Raito's face had a long, clean cut from the bottom of his eye, to the top of his throat. But that wasn't the worst of it. His eyes were the worst. Raito's eyes were half-open, gazing blankly at L, but seeing nothing.

They were empty.

Lawliet bit back a sob and checked for a pulse. Surprisingly, it was strong. Also, while his breathing was slow and weak, it was also steady. Raito hadn't suffered any fatal damage, at least not to his body. It brought Ryuuzaki little comfort. L picked up Raito's abused body and held it close to him. He picked up his phone and dialed the only number on the speed dial.

"Yes, Ryuuzaki?"

"Watari, I have found Raito-kun. Send an ambulance."

"Very well."

Ryuuzaki went to hang up, then had a sudden realization.

"Watari?"

"Hmm?"

"On second thought, you had better send two ambulances."

"Very well."

Ryuuzaki hung up and stared desperately at Raito-kun's battered form.

"Raito… what did he do to you…"

Ryuuzaki watched.

And he waited.

And he blamed himself.


	15. In The Cellar

Raito lay in darkness

Raito lay in darkness.

Emptiness.

Nothingness.

He had been there for days. Or was it months? Did he care?

No.

It was too much effort to care, and he couldn't waste the energy.

It took all the energy he had to just keep breathing, to keep his heart beating.

Raito stared out into the gloom. He had been there for so long; he had forgotten what the world looked like. He dimly remembered the sky. It was blue, probably. And trees… ah who knew? They could be purple by now and it wouldn't matter to him.

He flinched when he heard the gunshot.

Did X have a gun?

Was Raito going to die?

He sighed. Finally.

He listened closely, first to the muffled voices, then to the quiet yelp of pain.

His eyes opened a little. That didn't fit.

What was happening?

Suddenly, a beam of light appeared in the center of the room.

He was coming.

Feet slowly descended the staircase, and as Raito watched, L's head came into view.

"Raito?' he said.

L? Raito blinked.

Great.

He was hallucinating again.

Raito stared blankly at the wall under the pseudo-L flipped him over and stared hard at his face, checking his pulse and his breathing.

Yeah…like he'd never done_ that _before…

Raito continued to stare as the fake L did all of the rescue tactics he usually did in his imagination, and then sat back, staring at him.

Raito sighed gently, then sank slowly back into the darkness.

L jumped slightly as Raito let out a gentle breath. As he stared at him, he could see that his eyes had closed.

L leaned forward, checking the younger boy's pulse again.

Still strong.

Good.

Raito looked horrible, which was to be expected, but worse was the emotional damage that had been inflicted on the boy. Lawliet imagined it: a month down in this dark room,

Daily visits from a psychopath who beat and tortured you, and knowing B, probably some quality emotional abuse as well. Realizing that there was little hope of being found…

And that the only person who could ever find you was mad at you.

Lawliet felt sick.

How many hours had Raito lay in this spot, wondering if L was coming?

If L even realized he was missing?

If L even cared?

Gagging, L bent over Raito, burying his face in the younger boy's chest.

He smelled awful.

And it was all his fault.

L looked up at Raito's sleeping, haunted face.

He reached up a hand, and gently stroked the boy's face, which relaxed into an angelic peace.

L smiled. At least he could help his friend that much.

He buried his head into Raito's chest again and sank into a troubled sleep.

Raito woke to someone touching his face.

X.

A minute or so later, Raito opened his eyes slowly and peered out through his lashes.

His eyes widened, infinitesimally.

It was L.

The real L.

Not even Raito could imagine this. L leaned across Raito's prostrate form, his face buried in the younger man's chest. His hair was even more mussed than usual, and his face was streaked with tears. Raito's chest tightened unpleasantly.

"E…Er…L" he choked out, his voice hoarse from disuse.

The older man didn't stir.

Raito's eyes widened. Had X forced him down here? Had he followed up on his vow to torture Ryuuzaki right in front of him?

Raito struggled to sit up, but was too weak. The long weeks in the cellar had slowly drained him of all energy. He felt his eyes threaten to close.

No. Stay awake.

Another light appeared, signaling someone else's descent into the cellar. Raito slowly moved his hand over L's back. It was all the protection he had to offer.

It wasn't enough.

But it was all he could muster.

He stared hard at the ladder, waiting for X's masked head to appear.

But it wasn't X. Raito felt his heart swell as he saw Watari's head appear below the ceiling.

"Wa…Wa..tri…" he croaked.

Watari walked quickly over and examined Raito and L. Turning his head, he called out, and two sets of paramedics walked down, with stretchers. Raito tried to wake up L, but he couldn't move again… his eyes began to close again.

No…

"Don't fight it," Watari said gently. "You need to sleep. L is safe with me."

Raito smiled.

And let the darkness overtake him again.


	16. HAPPY BIRTHDAY, L!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, L

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, L!!!!!!!

My school is having a costume day today and I am dressing as L!!!!!!!!!!!!

I also carved a pumpkin with L's symbol on it!

This is my tribute to your birthday!!!!!!!!!!!!

Also, I will try to write another oneshot for your b-day and post it before midnight!

All readers, please celebrate this most glorious of days, the day of L's birth.

Without this day, the world's greatest detective would not exist, Kira would have a free reign, Light would be alone for his entire life, and we would not have the wonderful manga/anime Death Note, nor the fantastronomical fanfictions of such.

Without, this day, where is the meaning of this life?

Celebrate.

Seriously.

Happy birthday, L!!!!!!!!!!!

Song of Eternity


	17. So Far Away

Note:

Note:

Yes, this is the end of my first ever chapter fanfic!!! Huzzah and BooHoo at the same time… Hmm… I've really deviated from the lonely sea idea…but I like this story either way. I got a good plot..eventually. And lots of gooey lovey-ness…Well, I've decided to make the ending a songfic like the beginning. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE listen to Nickelback's "So Far Away" while reading this. It was my inspiration for the chapter, and it makes it so much more emotional…. Enjoy!

"Raito…"

L stood above Raito's hospital bed, calling softly to the younger boy. It had been almost a week since L had saved Raito from the cellar. Beyond had long since healed from the superficial stab wound L had given him and escaped from the hospital. L sighed. He hoped that B had gotten over his obsession, or next time he might be forced to resort to drastic measures. L had almost killed him this time; only a final plea of logic had stopped the mad desire to kill Raito's attacker mid-dash. As it was, if L ever saw Beyond again… well, it wouldn't be forgive-and-forget, that was for sure.

_This time, this place…_

_Misused, Mistakes_.

L looked down at Raito. The boy had almost died. It was his entire fault. If B hadn't been obsessed with L, if L had found him sooner, if L hadn't let him run away from his house….

If L hadn't accused him of betraying him…

It was all L's fault. And now, the boy he loved was in a coma.

He would never forgive himself…

_Too long, too late,_

_Who was I to make you wait?_

"Raito…"

Raito floated in a vast, darkened place. Though the abyss seemed empty, it had a thick, pulling feel to it, as though he were deep under some forgotten sea.  
The gentle call invaded Raito's sleep. He tried to ignore it, but just as he began to sink deeper into nothingness, he recognized the voice, and the pain that resonated within it.

Ryuuzaki.

He was causing Ryuuzaki pain…

He fought the urge to sleep. Every fiber of his being screamed at him to let his soul descend into the depths of the abyss before him, but he had to see Ryuuzaki.

He had to…

He was hurting Ryuuzaki…

Raito began to struggle upward, towards the voice that was L. He had to see L, right now. He wanted so badly to give up and let go, but what if he had to leave without seeing L again?

_Just one chance, just one breath_

_Just in case there's just one left…_

_Cause you know, you know, you know…_

It was like waking up from a long, dark dream. Feeling rushed back into his limbs, and air back into lungs that hadn't even known they were deprived. Raito's eyes drifted open, and he saw him. L was looking even scruffier than he had in the cellar. His eyes were bloodshot, and the shadows under his eyes had grown even more pronounced. His hair was ruffled, as though it hadn't been brushed for days. Also, though it was hard to tell, Raito thought that L might even be wearing the same shirt that he had been in the cellar. Raito cringed. Nasty. But nevertheless, it was still L there, sitting by his bedside, waiting for him to wake up… Raito smiled.

_I love you… I loved you all along_

_And I miss you… you've been away for far too long._

_I keep dreaming you'll be with me and you'll never go…_

_Stop breathing if I don't see you any more…_

L's breath caught as he saw Raito's eyes open. His heart jumped. Raito was awake….wait…

Raito was awake!

L jumped up out of the chair, nearly knocking it over. He turned to call the nurse, but stopped when he felt a gentle tug on his arm.

Raito pulled again on Ryuuzaki's sleeve. "Ryuuzaki…" he murmured hoarsely, "At your house, when I…"

Ryuuzaki sank to his knees and pulled Raito to his chest. Burying his face in the younger boy's neck, he murmured, "Don't worry about it… its fine. It was my fault for suspecting you."

_On my knees, I'll ask_

_Last chance for one last dance_

_Cause with you, I'd withstand_

_All of hell to hold your hand,_

Raito inhaled slowly. "Ryuuzaki, I need to tell you…I'm Ki-"

"I know." Ryuuzaki cut him off, "It doesn't matter."

_I'd give all_

_I'd give for us,_

_Give anything but I won't give up._

_Cause you know, you know, you know…_

Raito felt tears in his eyes. Blinking furiously, he tried once more.

_I love you,_

_I loved you all along_

_I miss you_

_You've been away for far too long…_

"Ryuuzaki, I think I lo…"

"I know. I love you too. Now stop talking. You'll tire yourself out again."

L firmly pushed Raito back into his pillows. Raito looked stubbornly at the older man.

"I can talk if I wan-"

"Shut up!" L said. "You have to get better, so be quiet. I can't bear to see you in this hospital any more… I hate hospitals." L shuddered.

_I keep dreaming, you'll be with me and never let me go…_

_Stop breathing if I don't see you anymore…_

"When I was in New York, I thought about you. I dreamed about you. I wanted to see you, but I was afraid you didn't want to see me. I had to argue with myself for hours to work up the courage to send you that email. When I passed you in the air, I honestly thought my heart had stopped." He leaned forward to brush the hair out of Raito's eyes.

_I wanted…I wanted you to stay…_

_Cause I needed… I need to hear you say…_

"When I heard you were coming over, I was so excited. I tried to make a cake, all by myself!" I was going to be special, but now I realize, you wouldn't have eaten it anyway. You don't like cake. I suppose it was for the best, though. It turned out quite badly… I had to throw it out. That why I only had the cookies…" he smiled gently.

_I love you, I loved you all along._

_And I forgive you, for being away for far too long…_

_So keep breathing, cause I'm not leaving you anymore…_

_Believe it, hold on to me and never let me go…_

Bending down, L wrapped his arms around the younger boy and placed a chaste kiss on his lips. "Raito, you've been away for far too long. I've missed you."

_Keep breathing, cause I'm not leaving you anymore…_

_Believe it, hold on to me and never let me go…_

Raito stared in amazement. Slowly, unbelievingly, he kissed L back. He sat up and wrapped his arms around the hunched form. "You dummy…" he murmured. "I would have eaten cake if you made it special… no matter how bad it was…" L snorted and squeezed Raito tighter. The two held each other, and continued to until the nurse found the two an hour later.

_Keep breathing…_

_Hold on to me and never let me go…_

Fin.


	18. Challenge!

Hey guys! Sorry to spam your Notification things like this, but I just want everyone to check this out!

I made a new Death Note writing challenge, and I just wanted to give my readers a first-dibs opportunity to get at it, as well as giving the thread a little boost on the forums list (you guys are great writers AND great advertising! Whodathunkit?)

Anyway, Your challenge is to write a L*Light story based on a plotline that YOU DON'T MAKE UP. Its given to you by a random plotline generator. Wait wait, don't close the browser window yet, its actually not dumb.

It's an exercise to put you out of your comfort zone, to stretch your abilities. Isn't that what a challenge is all about? I want each and every one of you to at least attempt this challenge. It's a great way to improve your skills.

At least give it a shot. For the full requirements, as well as to tell me you're participating, go to forum,fanfiction,net/forum/Death_Note_Writing_Challenges/75103/

(just replace the commas with periods and add a http and you're all set!)

That page is actually my forum for all death note writing challenges, so if you want to post a challenge of your own, please be my guest! The more posts and topics, the higher my forum and challenge will get, which means more people will see it! So post away!

Thanks so much! You guys are great readers and I can't wait to read some of the great stuff you'll write! Hurry hurry to the site above!)

Good Luck!


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